Friday 23 September 2016

Responsible BDSM play - just an insight

As a rule, all Doms should be aware of SSC and RACK. SSC stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual while RACK is Risk Aware Consensual Kink. The only difference between the two is the amount of risk involved, the understanding of it and the willingness to take that risk. To be fair, everything in life has a risk, ranging from sugar, to tobacco and adventure sports. We all take risks after deciding how much we can handle and are prepared for. This is why usually SSC is recommended for beginners and RACK for advanced enthusiasts.

While keeping in mind that BDSM as a set of practices has physical risks, there are also mental / emotional risks involved. As discussed in ‘Submission : A Practical Guide (BDSM In India)’ there are risks around the ‘subspace’ and  ‘subdrop’. Aftercare is thus needed to address them. Similarly a ‘Domspace’  and ‘DomHigh’ is also equally plausible and needs aftercare.

“In a lot of ways, Domination can alter the state of mind, especially if merged with play. It is therefore important to be always equipped with a basic first aid kit, just like one would do when indulging in any adventure sport. If you are planning to experiment with bondage, keep scissors handy; if with wax, keep ice and anti-inflammatory ointment like Burnol. When experimenting with impact play ice and salves are useful.”

For a good Dom, it is important to not just recognize their Domination and the related headspaces, but also those of the submissive that they are with. It helps to identify what aftercare works for both the people involved and to be able to provide and receive it with love, care and gratitude. It helps if at least one of the partners is seasoned enough, or if they at least have mentors or support systems to talk to and seek support from. Also, the more one explores, the more aware one is of what works for them and what doesn’t.

Who should provide aftercare first, is in my opinion a very juvenile question with no fixed answer. The only consistent answer to this is that both parties usually need aftercare and depending on how the scene has gone, either of them may choose to take the initiative.

An excerpt from Domination - A practical guide by Asmi Uniqus.

© Asmi Uniqus 2016

Thursday 1 September 2016

The Queen - A story about FemDom

Hi there,

I know I've been vanishing off and on. Work's been hectic. I'll be more regular promise. I wrote a new chapter of a new book. A book on the Indian narrative of BDSM. The book will be about stories of real life practitioners and the book will try to cover multiple aspects of the lifestyle.

I've tried to begin with Femdom because I realize that a lot of people hesitate in expressing their sexuality and alternative lifestyle preferences because they are men and submissives or women and Dominants.

This one is about some insights from two different Female Dominants and I've published a free sample chapter on Wattpad.

Here's the link to The Queen.

© Asmi Uniqus 2016

Image Source - Online