Friday 1 September 2017

100 Rules of Tough Love - Rule 1

Let's Look at something else as well. What are the rules for Tough Love? What are the rules to find BDSM relationships, to be in them, to nurture and fulfill them and yourself? Well, I am trying to list 100 of them. Here they begin:

Rule Number 1 - Be Authentic, Be Yourself

Authenticity is one of the major differences between vanilla and BDSM relationships. In fact, I must say it's one of the major differences between fulfilling and non-fulfilling relationships. Just because a lot of literature, porn as well as people try to project BDSM as roleplay, it is no reason to be anything else but yourself when you're looking for a BDSM relationship. The fact is that BDSM and tough love has as many shades as people who practice it.

Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Taken - Oscar Wilde

Let me ask you this. Do you even know where you are on BDSM spectrum? If yes, great. If no, then find out. It's not IMPOSSIBLE. It's tough, oh hell, yes, it is tough! Takes a lot of effort, a lot of time, a lot of sincerity. However, it certainly is not impossible.

If you're confused, acknowledge that you're confused. Being confused isn't a sin. Being confused isn't a crime. It's just a state of being. It's OK.

The risk with being anything but yourself is that the other person may take you for more seasoned than you may be, or less seasoned than you maybe. In BDSM, this misreading can have direct consequences on your health and safety.

What if someone took you to be a heavy masochist because you weren't being your scared, self and then ended up giving you more pain than you could handle?

What if someone took you for a naive idiot and tried to take you for a ride, or violate your consent by trying to manipulate you under the pretext of consensual non-consent?

What when you are misled and end up trusting a person because they lied about their experience, only to know that you agreed to do breath play with someone who could send you to coma?

So for your own sake and that of your partner/s, please Be Yourself.

With love,
© Asmi Uniqus 2017

1 comment:

  1. there is a few tests you can take to sew where , you are on the scale , remind me to send you the link xxx